Bringing up children

Environment is changing and changing fast. In such a situation, how do we guide our children. What do we do with our children.

As indicated by Alvin Toffler, in his book Future Shock, the environment is changing at an exponential rate.  This is one reason why previous generation people(with age >50)  are not able to cope up. In their life, till a decade or two back, they had seen gradual changes and they are used to it. Now they are seeing explosive change and coping with that is becoming difficult for them.

How is the current generation(age 30-50) coping with current situation. They have seen the change accelerate and slowly getting used to it. However, there are many disruptions and traditional thinking patterns which are being shattered on a daily basis and the pace of change is becoming in digestible to many. Many are oblivious to the change as such. This group of people face the risk of being left behind in the progress.

With this back ground, how do we have to handle our children. This 30-50 generation has two problems. One to deal with change themselves and second to guide/handle children through such turbulent times.   

What can one do?.

The vintage thinking of “I know every thing and I can guide my child”, is no more valid. I am constantly amazed by various inputs given and points discussed by my child. This continuous interaction help me remain humble and learn a thing or two.

There was an ancient thinking that one has to guide a child(by use of force, if necessary), through his future. Now one has to make a child a guided missile. Hence a child is to be trained in life skills. Skills like going out on his/her own, deciding for oneself, negotiation skills, delaying gratification and communication. When one can take care of oneself in a society and decide for oneself, he/she can learn new things and chart their way.

What can one do in this direction?

Controlled experimentation. Let children buy things on their own. Let them be small in order that they may not impact the family. The value can be gradually increased as a child grows. More than successful purchases, failures or misses will help parent and child analyze the situation and learn from it. This is one inexpensive way to train a child.

One can expose children to group activity. From a younger age, if a child is exposed to a group and has to depend on a group for survival, he/she can understand group dynamics. Depending on age, one can try activities like those organised by youth hostels(trekking etc).

Communication is another vital area of development. By allowing children to take part in discussions and guiding in putting one’s point in a non offensive way will help a child understand rules of proper communication.

These three skills can help ground a child to come up in present society.

The environment can also be used as  laboratory where a parent and child  work together for the benefit of child (and parent too).

Please share your comments in comments section.