Bonds in the family

Now a days, it seems that family members are becoming more and more separated mentally.

When two persons marry and start living together, a bond develops between them. Initially, it may be for some needs. And as the (live together) time increases, the relation ship ideally should improve and transcend the need requirement to something better.  Then children come. This phase initially can create testing times for the parents. But if handled well, it soon converts to a better time. It even improves the bond between parents and get them closer. This may not always happen this way.

Thus, for wife and husband, the reasons for relation will be needs converted to support converted to (rather sublimed to) something better. But what about children. The relation ship starts with needs, specially children needs. Most of the time, it will not move forward. Father remains a banker and mother remains a feeder. But if the relation moves beyond this, the results will be great.

But how can one( a parent) take this forward. For any relation to grow, the first investment should be time. One has to spend enough time with the partner to grow the relation. Now a days, the leisure time available to one is decreasing and what ever is leftover, is being eaten into by TV and other gadgets. Can one reclaim part of it and channel the same into relationship one wants to build.

This needs introspection and some discipline. With children, time is never in excess. Specially when they are young, one needs a parent. But by intelligently managing their time, one can divert this need into activities enjoyed by a child. Here I am not hinting at engaging child with an activity and escape.

Parent needs to be present when a child needs. However, this needs if handled properly will start reducing and they slowly become independent. Rather a parent has to make the children independent gradually. For this one has to encourage children to do things on their own, starting with easier ones. For children, doing things like adults will be fun and one can leverage this to teach children how to do an activity. This in turn will teach them how to be independent.

But this initial care has a bigger ramification, further into children lives. They feel wanted and they feel independent. These two will propel them to be open with parents. This is a big requirement to handle teens, as they turn into teens.

Thus, quality time help develop relations. One(parent) has to introspect and provide quality time to the children so that they develop as responsible adults.

As with other posts, this stem post stems from my personal experience and I am enjoying the fruits of my time invested in building relationship with my children.

You may also try to work on this  aspect of life, if relevant.